Bipolar and the Possibility of Trauma Tics

Published on 31 December 2024 at 09:04

Over the past few months, I have been bouncing between doctors, for various reasons. But the main reason being that my emotions and hormones have been all over the place, and they kept telling me it was situational depression. It in fact, was not situational depression. After struggling with the same psychiatrist, I tried a new one, and got diagnosed with Bipolar. We are not sure yet if it is Bipolar 1 or 2, however I am personally leaning towards the one that is more depressive in nature. Before my diagnosis, I had been struggling severely with thoughts of harm, towards myself and others, and with wanting to disappear into a void. Now that I have been put on a medication specific for Bipolar, those thoughts only come around once every couple of months, which is amazing. I cannot wait until the day that they do not come at all.

The second thing that I found out during this time, is the possibility that my Tourette’s is actually not Tourette’s at all. When I had first gotten diagnosed, the original doctor had said I was borderline Tourette’s (not fully there, but that I had it when I was a child). The second doctor I had just labeled it as full blown Tourette’s and that's how we went on with life. But recently, I also changed therapists, and we have been trying out a new therapy that is specific to people with dissociative personalities. The therapy is called Deep Brain Reorienting (DBR), and it focuses on letting the body process the physical sensations of the trauma that is stored within you. For example: when you get angry, instead of feeling the emotions, feel the way your hands clench, how your body trembles, the way your heart pounds, etc. When I tried this therapy, my body started to twitch and spasm uncontrollably, until eventually… it stopped. Now, my working theory is that my tics are suppressed trauma that has been stuck inside my body, and it gets reactivated every time I get upset.

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